


flaws upon your sleeve

by karnsteins



Category: The Outsiders - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Scars, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:14:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27380041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karnsteins/pseuds/karnsteins
Summary: ponyboy and dallas are connected by a scar, and that's the most he can hope for.
Relationships: Ponyboy Curtis/Dallas Winston
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21





	flaws upon your sleeve

i. 

you think that the scar on his forearm is gnarled, ugly almost the way it wraps around his skin. you think of the way his arm hangs out of the car, the way he doesn't seem bothered by the raised skin, the redness. the bandage came off weeks ago, and your eyes are drawn to it sometimes, even when you shouldn't be staring, even when you should pay attention to something, anything else. 

how can you ignore it, though? how can you peel your eyes away from dallas, from his glowering looks, his hair falling over his head, the way his mouth still curls into a sneer all these years. 

you should. he's not for you or for anyone to marvel at. his arm goes around johnny's shoulders, and you finally remember to look away. 

ii. 

the scars on your shoulders creep over you like a ghostly, red print. your back is where the most of the scar pattern lies, where the skin feels thinnest, stretched over your body. sometimes it itches, sometimes you want to pick and pull at it, sometimes you forget it's even there until you're out in the sun without your shirt off or steve hits you too hard and it gives up old memories of pain. 

you go to bed often without thinking of it. you flinch sometimes when a lover's mouth touches it or when you bump your back into a wall too hard. you think too often of how you got it, you dream too hard about the smell of burning flesh and the church, yet you keep your mouth shut. 

one person you want to talk to about it, would never. and the other person you want to talk to about it, you don't trust yourself to be able to do so.

iii. 

soulmates aren't something you think about often. the thing is though, you feel a little bound by it, the knowledge that when his hand had come down, he burned himself so badly putting out the flames on your body he has a scar now too. you're both connected together, in a way that is physical, horrible all at once. sometimes you think about what it would be like, to line your bodies up, to put his scar to yours, to see if they fit like a puzzle piece. 

you wonder what it would mean to do so, to have your bodies line up like that, to acknowledge that piece of history between the both of you that you don't talk about, to finally examine what was left of windrixville on your bodies. what it would be like to lean your head on his arm, to look at him, and say what you really want to say, to ask if he feels just as bound as you do to him.

then you remember that you aren't soulmates; he doesn't love you the same way you love him, and it's better left as something in your head, private and unknowable, just on the tip of your tongue. the scars are the only intimate thing you two will ever have, and one day, you'll learn how to deal with that.

**Author's Note:**

> serves a little angst. comments, kudos, come holler at me on tumblr.


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